You Lost Me
by hotforteacher
Summary: He lost her.


**Hi! I was listening to "You Lost Me" by Christina Aguilera. This idea stuck in my head. This is angsty. I don't own "Lie to Me" or the song "You Lost me". Thanks!**

****Takes place right after the episode 'The Whole Truth'****

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_I am done, smoking gun_  
_We've lost it all, the love is gone_  
_She has won, now it's no fun_  
_We've lost it all, the love is gone_  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I saw them together. I thought it was over, but I thought wrong. Helen was right, I should have left it, but I couldn't. Now… here I am… my heart is breaking into pieces and no one knows but me.

It started out when I went to his house to see how he was. He had checked on me so many times ever since my divorce. He told me to come in with the key he gave me, but I still knock. She answered the door.

She looked at me with pity and then smirked at me with amusement. I heard him ask who it was. He got to the door before I could run. For one brief second he saw the agony wash over my face. I left and I never looked back.

In some distant universe, I heard someone yell my name, but I ignored it. Somehow, I made it to my house. I don't remember the drive. Maybe that should scare me but I don't care. I didn't make it past the front door when my legs couldn't carry me. That is where I am now, crying.

I thought after Jenkins, after Matheson, after Iraq he would be different. That somehow he would be a different man. In some small part of my brain, I thought this change would not involve her, that it would involve me. I thought wrong, I was so incredibly wrong. Now I am paying for it with my tears.

She has won the fight, the battle, hell, the whole damn war. She can have him and the heartbreak and loneliness that follows his cursed path. I am done.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_And we had magic_  
_And this is tragic_  
_You couldn't keep your hands to yourself_

_I feel like our world's been infected_  
_And somehow you left me neglected_  
_We've found our lives been changed_  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Our world is full of lies; in fact it is built upon it. Truth, like the ever elusive conman, is hiding in the shadows. He will come out when he needs something, not when you need it to.

There air has changed between us. He won't even look at me. I know the others can feel the change in the air. It seems like it is crackling with electricity, no doubt the truth conman at the hands of control in his shadow. No one says anything though; I think they are too scared. To be honest I am scared.

He never comes in to see me. I don't want him to. I don't want his excuses. I am tired of it. I think he knows it to.

Then she walks in, wanting to talk to him. She looks at me, ever so briefly. She has him. She knows it.

Somehow I feel someone's hand on my shoulder. I look up. Oh, I hope it is his hand, please God, let it be his hand. I need his hand.

Ben bends down and whispers something, but I don't hear him. It wasn't him. Hold back the tears and be strong. I excuse myself. I whisper something about getting work done. I don't care who listens.

I walk by his door. I see them. I think I see the truth conman hiding in the shadows. They are touching each other. He should be touching me with his hands. I should feel the magic, the electricity between his hand and my skin. But he could not keep his hands to himself. They are tainted and I don't want them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_We're left as shells, we lost the fight_  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I walk into my office wanting the world to go away. I lock the door and close the blinds. I can't breathe, I can't live. No one knows I am dying in here. Please world, go away.

Hours later, after my tears dried up and my convulsions were manageable; I picked myself up off the floor. I left the familiar and comfortable cold floor. Somehow I found out that they left together.

Our world has changed, our lives have changed. I need to change. I need to leave.

Somehow, I made it home. I don't remember this ride either. Do I care this time? No. This time, I made it to the kitchen. The only hunger I have is for a glass of terrible scotch. I found it. I walk to the couch and let it sink me in. I hope this scotch drowns me.

Then I see it there, where I put it. It is a picture of us. We were at a party for someone. It is one of the rare pictures of us. I remember he had his hand on my waist. It made me shiver. I was so in love with him that night. I could have spent the rest of my life with him. Funny, I still married then.

I hear the doorbell. It is probably Ben making sure I am here. If I don't answer it then maybe he will go away. I don't want anyone to see me. I want to hide just like the truth conman. I am jealous of him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_Now I know you're sorry and we were sweet_  
_But you chose lust when you deceived me_  
_And you'll regret it, but it's too late_  
_How can I ever trust you again?_

_Babe, you lost me_  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The doorbell keeps ringing, I am still ignoring it. Then I hear the door open. I thought I locked it. The only person who has a key is… I look up. It's him.

He says that he is sorry. For what? He is a grown-up. He can do whatever he wants. It is a free country.

I tell him what I feel in my heart. I hate you. I hate you for making me into the person I am. I hate you for making me love you. I hate you for reducing me to this.

He apologizes again. He says that he broke it off with her. He says that he will never be with her. LIAR!

If he broke it off, then she will come back and rope him in. She is a warrior; she doesn't like losing a battle. And, of course he will go back to her. He will give in to temptation. He loves her. Then we will be in the same position as now. The only difference, he won't have me.

I will still be around. The electricity around us will dim. The need for his hand will dampen. I will still trust him with my life. Will I trust him with my heart? I think for a second. No.

I tell him that he has lost me. I see out of the corner of my eye that the truth conman has come out of his shadow. He knows that I am telling the truth. Cal, you have lost me.

* * *

**Sorry, no happy ending here. I still want to know what you think! Let me know! Thanks!**


End file.
